I'm not sure my last post made any sense. To anyone. Even me. I think I was overwhelmed by the rudeness in this little town. Go ahead and say it, "that's what you get, Ali". Okay, now that we've got that out of the way we will all feel better. On to other things.........
My sweet, sweet child is probably more hard headed than I am. God bless her (and me). She throws these fits that cause strangers to stop what they are doing and gasp like someone is ripping her limbs off. This happens daily, as she has been "going through the terrible 2's" since she was nine months old. Seriously. I usually try to keep the screaming to a minimum but sometimes I just can't give in to her multiple demands. I mean, seriously, who do I think I am, the mama? The latest is the hitting. I won't blame it on a cute little boy who has an obsession with Wii boxing. I'll just call it an age thing. I've been trying to be consistent and send her to the corner when she hits. It's pretty bad when we go somewhere and I have "the talk" (you know be sweet, blah blah) and before I can even say it she says, "No hit". So, yesterday we had marathon poopy day. I know that you all want to hear details of the poop but I'll save that talk for cocktail parties and wedding receptions. On about the third big poop Caroline decides that she is DONE with changing her diaper. Now diaper changing is not one of her favorite activities anyway and though I often let a wet diaper drag the ground before I change it, a poop is different. A poop stinks and burns soft little bottoms which often causes more screaming and serious guilt in mama land. So I get Caroline on the makeshift changing table and start to change her diaper. She is perfectly still and even says thank you afterward. Yeah right. Maybe in some other lifetime. So Caroline is kicking and screaming. All I hear is "I don't" "NO" and then she pops me right in the nose. Yep. She smacked me. Well before I could stop myself I had spanked her little bottom and said "NO hitting". Oh, the irony. And even more ironic is that the spanking seemed to work and there was no more screaming, no more kicking, only a few whimpers and then nothing. I couldn't believe it. So I put her down to play and we go back to the den. As I walk into the den Caroline looks right into my eyes and says: "Mommy, corner now!" I had to leave the room to laugh. But I probably should have gone and sat in the corner. She is my monkey. My marvelous little monkey.
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Saturday, September 20, 2008
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
I'm pulling out my soapbox. Beware.
I've listened for years to people who talk about cooperation, kindness, loving your neighbor, etc., etc., etc. I embrace these things, as those of you who know me know. I have my own set of flaws, don't get me wrong. Lord knows that I'm not any where near perfect. But I've listened to people talk about cooperation and kindness and loving your neighbor and then watched as they did exactly the opposite. And I guess I'm a bit slow, but I've just realized that what they always meant is "Cooperate with people who are like you, be kind to those who can get you something, and love your neighbor if they 'fit' in the neighborhood." I'm disappointed. I feel really disappointed.
Most of you know about my boys. The ten teenage boys who have become my children, my headache, my heart. And I know there are some who think teenagers are annoying and selfish. And you are right. But they are also people. I can remember how I felt as a teenager and I appreciate the adults who were kind to me even though I probably didn't deserve their kindness. I think I am the person I am today because of those adults.
I feel like Dr. Don's sermon last Sunday has had REAL relevance in my life this week. And I'm struggling to keep it fresh in my mind because the dark side of me wants to flush it down the toilet and get ugly! But I'm trying to 'kill people with kindness'. Because they are, after all, people.
All of this gibberish adds up to my desire to live in a world that is truly cooperative. One that doesn't judge a seventeen year old boy because his mother smoked too much crack. One that accepts someone no matter how they look, smell, or act. I want to live in a world where people accept me no matter what. And I've heard a million times that I am being naive. That this kind of world does not exist. That I should join the 'real world'. But I am telling you, my friend, WE created the present. We created the drama, the hate, and the uncooperative attitudes of society. And I feel disappointed in myself for doing so.
I would never ask for love. I think that may be too much to ask from a stranger who has no history, and no connection with another stranger. Because love is, after all, just a connection with another being. But I don't think asking for cooperation is too much. I think it's difficult and requires one to set aside their assumptions. But shouldn't we want that as spiritual human beings? And don't we? I know that I want to be included and to be accepted. I'm sure my fellow humans wants the same thing. The strange part is that I EXPECT to be respected and accepted and I find myself being disrespectful and unaccepting of others. Oh, the irony.
I hope that I can find cooperation in myself. I hope that I can learn to be the change I so desire.
May we love others as much as we love ourselves.
Always,
Ali Pin It
I've listened for years to people who talk about cooperation, kindness, loving your neighbor, etc., etc., etc. I embrace these things, as those of you who know me know. I have my own set of flaws, don't get me wrong. Lord knows that I'm not any where near perfect. But I've listened to people talk about cooperation and kindness and loving your neighbor and then watched as they did exactly the opposite. And I guess I'm a bit slow, but I've just realized that what they always meant is "Cooperate with people who are like you, be kind to those who can get you something, and love your neighbor if they 'fit' in the neighborhood." I'm disappointed. I feel really disappointed.
Most of you know about my boys. The ten teenage boys who have become my children, my headache, my heart. And I know there are some who think teenagers are annoying and selfish. And you are right. But they are also people. I can remember how I felt as a teenager and I appreciate the adults who were kind to me even though I probably didn't deserve their kindness. I think I am the person I am today because of those adults.
I feel like Dr. Don's sermon last Sunday has had REAL relevance in my life this week. And I'm struggling to keep it fresh in my mind because the dark side of me wants to flush it down the toilet and get ugly! But I'm trying to 'kill people with kindness'. Because they are, after all, people.
All of this gibberish adds up to my desire to live in a world that is truly cooperative. One that doesn't judge a seventeen year old boy because his mother smoked too much crack. One that accepts someone no matter how they look, smell, or act. I want to live in a world where people accept me no matter what. And I've heard a million times that I am being naive. That this kind of world does not exist. That I should join the 'real world'. But I am telling you, my friend, WE created the present. We created the drama, the hate, and the uncooperative attitudes of society. And I feel disappointed in myself for doing so.
I would never ask for love. I think that may be too much to ask from a stranger who has no history, and no connection with another stranger. Because love is, after all, just a connection with another being. But I don't think asking for cooperation is too much. I think it's difficult and requires one to set aside their assumptions. But shouldn't we want that as spiritual human beings? And don't we? I know that I want to be included and to be accepted. I'm sure my fellow humans wants the same thing. The strange part is that I EXPECT to be respected and accepted and I find myself being disrespectful and unaccepting of others. Oh, the irony.
I hope that I can find cooperation in myself. I hope that I can learn to be the change I so desire.
May we love others as much as we love ourselves.
Always,
Ali Pin It
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