BABY GIRL!!!

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Well, we're having a baby girl!

We went to the doctor yesterday and found out that we are having a girl! Poor Chris must have asked the Ultrasound lady about five times if she was really, really sure. I think he was disappointed but he put on a pretty brave face. He finally acted excited when he called from work last night. I'm excited. I hate to say I called it but, I called it. When we first got to the doctor's office the ultrasound lady asked Ci Ci if she wanted a baby brother or a baby sister and Ci Ci said, "A baby dog." Then, after we found out she was a girl, Chris kept pointing to the ultrasound monitor and saying to Caroline, look there is your baby sister. Caroline went along with it for a second and then she looked at Chris and said, "No, Daddy. That's a monster!" We all laughed so hard. She has been so good and I hope she's this excited about the baby come June.

Yesterday we got our first "free" gift from Similac. It was some cheap bag with formula and a paci in it. Caroline has since carried the paci around giving it to her babies and stuffed animals, but never putting it in her mouth. She's so cute. I'll save my rant for why they give out free formula at prenatal appointments for another post. Maybe I should not have taken it and quickly told them where to stick their formula. Oh, I said I wouldn't rant..... and anyway, it's not the nurse's fault that she has to push formula onto unsuspecting mama's to be under the guise of a 'free' gift. I'll stop now and move on....

I'm doing well and the baby is doing well. But I hope you guys will pray for me. I know that life is pretty hard for everyone right now and that we're all pretty stressed out. I am no exception and I'm feeling all kinds of stress. The Fortress is struggling, to put it mildly, to survive in this town. I hope you guys will pray for me and for The Fortress as a whole. There are so many lives that will be affected if we are forced to close and I fear that possibility is nearing.

I'm happy to share our news with you all! Thank you for being interested in our lives!!!

Ali

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Look at me!

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Look at me, two posts in one month! This one will be short and sweet as I head out the door to go to work on my day off. UGH. I thought I'd drop in a post this photo of CiCi at Christmas. It's so sweet and I forgot about it until I was just posting some Facebook photos earlier. This was taken Christmas Eve when CiCi decided that she wanted a little taste of Santa's snacks. She ate two of Santa's cookies faster than I could get the camera! After I had replaced the cookies with new ones we went off to bed. The next morning that's the first place she went and she was SHOCKED when Santa had eaten the cookies. She told everyone all day long that Santa ate the cookies all gone! So so sweet.

Love to everyone!

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New Year, Old me

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Not much changes with the New Year. I'm as forgetful as ever and continue to have time management problems. It seems like just when I get settled into something some little monster yells "Mama". The monster is sleeping but we'll see how far I get into this before she wakes.

Caroline's birthday was fun. We had a little birthday party at our house and it was fun. If you consider kids running everywhere fun. She had a blast and was so sweet opening her gifts. I can't believe she's two. Time really does fly.

Christmas was good. We didn't do as much running around this year, which I was grateful for. I'm pretty sure we took a nap on Christmas day, isn't that crazy!

I guess the word is out that we're expecting. Did I mention that in my last post? I can't remember it's been so long. We are, we're going to have an itty bitty baby. I must be looking pretty preggers because people keep looking at my belly kind of perplexed. Sometimes I want to say "I'm not THAT fat people!!"

I'm still working and feeling irritated by a bunch of teenage boys. I hope I never have a teenage boy. But I'm willing to bet money that teenage girls are much, much worse. I hope I'll find out one day.

I'm trying to be still and accept one day at a time. Lose some control, ya know. Not that we ever really have that much control anyway. For anyone who's all that interested I would suggest reading The Four Agreements. My friend Kelly advised it and I actually loved it. I say that with surprise because she has some pretty non-traditional ideas about things. If you don't have a good filter then skip it. I'll take that back. If you don't have a good filter then read it. Maybe it will help develop a filter, or maybe you'll hate it. Either way.....

The older I get the more I understand that life requires a filter. I'm getting better about taking what I need and letting the rest go. I mean really letting it go instead of worrying or letting it control me. And the Four Agreements helped bring that into perspective. The idea that maybe we're all alike is not a new idea at all. But I think we sometimes look over that because it seems too simple. The idea that sometimes words are just words and that actions bare more truth, is appealing to me. It frightens me because my actions are often lacking when my words are grand. One day at a time, right?

Until next time,

Ali Pin It

What a day....

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So, so much to say, and always so little time....

Well guys, I have a bun in the oven. Yep. I'm preggers. Woo Hooo! Well, I'm finally at the woo hoo point after much anxiety and a few tears. But it's wonderful news and we're so excited. Caroline said "I'm going to be a big sister" after much prompting. When we first asked her if she wanted a baby she said "NOPE". She has this funny way of saying nope so that the P pops on the end and she thinks it's so funny. I did not think it was funny. So we'll have a June baby. It feels a bit crazy but I guess I couldn't ask for anything but crazy. So that's the big news, on to other boring stuff.

Halloween was so fun and Caroline was so cute. She was a chicken and I must say she looked pretty darn sweet! I've posted some photos of our attempt at trick or treating. The monster walk in Columbiana is a real bummer for real trick or treating. I personally think we should all just forget about the monster walk. OK FOLKS -- IT"S STUPID! Okay, I feel much better now. But really, standing in line for candy is not trick-or-treating. It is a waste of time. But anyway.... We did have fun and it wasn't that hard to get Caroline to sleep. I was shocked because she had eaten about half a bag of candy before we even put her costume on. Thank you Daddy.

I hope everyone is well. Hopefully Halloween brought lots of fun for everyone.

Ali

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Rain, Rain.....

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This picture is a blast from the past. I found it after someone said Caroline looked more like Chris. I broke it out to prove a point! haha. I love it!!!

I'm listening to the rain and putting off getting ready for work. I'm glad I don't have a "real job" or I might have been fired a long time ago. I'd love nothing better than going back to bed. But I doubt Caroline would be cool with that.

I'm excited about the Fall. Chris doesn't know it yet be we're going to Old Baker's Farm this weedend for a pumpkin!! I already have three but what's three more? I LOVE Halloween. I bought lots of Halloween candy yesterday and I had to come home and hide it from Chris. I just hope I can remember where I hid it when Halloween gets here.

I broke out a few Halloween decorations, the ones I could find anyway. We have these two ghosts on the front porch and when the wind blows them Caroline says "It scare me, mama". My goal of getting her to think that ghosts and monsters are funny isn't working that well. How do kids know to be afraid?

I guess I can't sit here all day. I'm off to get ready for work... ugh!

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I guess I am a crazy woman...

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I'm not sure my last post made any sense. To anyone. Even me. I think I was overwhelmed by the rudeness in this little town. Go ahead and say it, "that's what you get, Ali". Okay, now that we've got that out of the way we will all feel better. On to other things.........

My sweet, sweet child is probably more hard headed than I am. God bless her (and me). She throws these fits that cause strangers to stop what they are doing and gasp like someone is ripping her limbs off. This happens daily, as she has been "going through the terrible 2's" since she was nine months old. Seriously. I usually try to keep the screaming to a minimum but sometimes I just can't give in to her multiple demands. I mean, seriously, who do I think I am, the mama? The latest is the hitting. I won't blame it on a cute little boy who has an obsession with Wii boxing. I'll just call it an age thing. I've been trying to be consistent and send her to the corner when she hits. It's pretty bad when we go somewhere and I have "the talk" (you know be sweet, blah blah) and before I can even say it she says, "No hit". So, yesterday we had marathon poopy day. I know that you all want to hear details of the poop but I'll save that talk for cocktail parties and wedding receptions. On about the third big poop Caroline decides that she is DONE with changing her diaper. Now diaper changing is not one of her favorite activities anyway and though I often let a wet diaper drag the ground before I change it, a poop is different. A poop stinks and burns soft little bottoms which often causes more screaming and serious guilt in mama land. So I get Caroline on the makeshift changing table and start to change her diaper. She is perfectly still and even says thank you afterward. Yeah right. Maybe in some other lifetime. So Caroline is kicking and screaming. All I hear is "I don't" "NO" and then she pops me right in the nose. Yep. She smacked me. Well before I could stop myself I had spanked her little bottom and said "NO hitting". Oh, the irony. And even more ironic is that the spanking seemed to work and there was no more screaming, no more kicking, only a few whimpers and then nothing. I couldn't believe it. So I put her down to play and we go back to the den. As I walk into the den Caroline looks right into my eyes and says: "Mommy, corner now!" I had to leave the room to laugh. But I probably should have gone and sat in the corner. She is my monkey. My marvelous little monkey. Pin It

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I'm pulling out my soapbox. Beware.

I've listened for years to people who talk about cooperation, kindness, loving your neighbor, etc., etc., etc. I embrace these things, as those of you who know me know. I have my own set of flaws, don't get me wrong. Lord knows that I'm not any where near perfect. But I've listened to people talk about cooperation and kindness and loving your neighbor and then watched as they did exactly the opposite. And I guess I'm a bit slow, but I've just realized that what they always meant is "Cooperate with people who are like you, be kind to those who can get you something, and love your neighbor if they 'fit' in the neighborhood." I'm disappointed. I feel really disappointed.

Most of you know about my boys. The ten teenage boys who have become my children, my headache, my heart. And I know there are some who think teenagers are annoying and selfish. And you are right. But they are also people. I can remember how I felt as a teenager and I appreciate the adults who were kind to me even though I probably didn't deserve their kindness. I think I am the person I am today because of those adults.

I feel like Dr. Don's sermon last Sunday has had REAL relevance in my life this week. And I'm struggling to keep it fresh in my mind because the dark side of me wants to flush it down the toilet and get ugly! But I'm trying to 'kill people with kindness'. Because they are, after all, people.

All of this gibberish adds up to my desire to live in a world that is truly cooperative. One that doesn't judge a seventeen year old boy because his mother smoked too much crack. One that accepts someone no matter how they look, smell, or act. I want to live in a world where people accept me no matter what. And I've heard a million times that I am being naive. That this kind of world does not exist. That I should join the 'real world'. But I am telling you, my friend, WE created the present. We created the drama, the hate, and the uncooperative attitudes of society. And I feel disappointed in myself for doing so.

I would never ask for love. I think that may be too much to ask from a stranger who has no history, and no connection with another stranger. Because love is, after all, just a connection with another being. But I don't think asking for cooperation is too much. I think it's difficult and requires one to set aside their assumptions. But shouldn't we want that as spiritual human beings? And don't we? I know that I want to be included and to be accepted. I'm sure my fellow humans wants the same thing. The strange part is that I EXPECT to be respected and accepted and I find myself being disrespectful and unaccepting of others. Oh, the irony.

I hope that I can find cooperation in myself. I hope that I can learn to be the change I so desire.

May we love others as much as we love ourselves.

Always,
Ali Pin It