Oh me. Josie has some pretty horrible reflux. She tends to be more of a dribbler than a spitter and so I have begun carrying her around on my hip face out. Does that make sense? You know one arm around her belly, butt on hip. This means that she dribbles less on my clothes and more on my feet/shoes and, unfortunately, the hardwood floor. So the other day Chris insisted that there was bird shit in the front living room floor. This really wouldn't surprise me since we do tend to have a problem with birds getting into our house. But this time it really wasn't bird shit. I knew it was just a little dribble but I couldn't convience Chris. He was so angry and the more I said "NO, it's NOT" the more convienced he became that it was bird shit. I have laughed and laughed.
Now don't question why we would have birds shitting regularly around our house. To question that would be to question why Chris would close off every chimney in this house (there are four total) EXCEPT the one that has swallows living in it. I mean, that would make sense. I used to call someone when a bird would fly in but now I just close the kids in a safe bedroom and try to knock the crap out of the bird with a broom. (OH, now I'm laughing because I said knock the crap out of the bird and I didn't mean LITERALLY!) Usually I can get the bird to fly out an open door but if not then I leave all the doors open and I take the kids for a walk, a really long walk! Once when Chris was here a bat came in the house. Caroline cried for three days and still says "bats live outside". Apparently birds in the house are a really bad omen. As many as we've had we're screwed.
I just looked down and saw some more dribble in the floor. I better go clean it up before Chris gets home and starts yelling about bird shit in the den!
Love to all.
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